Danao-made Paltiks are Weapons of Choice among U.S. Criminals

Fri, July 5, 2002  3:22 pm

[Note: Originally posted on the Lampoon Issue of The Danao Gazette, Jan 1994.]

This could be a  boon to the city’s sagging economy or a bane to the pistoleros of Danao.

Danao gunmakers could be subject to a massive and sustained efforts to put them in jail and out of business, as both FBI and the CIA are alarmed of the non-stop entry to the U.S. of the Danao Paltik and into the hands of criminals.

The once derided poor quality Made-in-Suba handguns have become the weapons of choice among inner city criminals according to an FBI report.

Retired gun-designer and paltik shop owner Kikong Barriga said, “the new paltiks of Danao are no longer the type that breaks apart after a shot which only  the Muslims of Mindanao would dare buy in bulk.”

“In fact, the .357 paltik has far more firepower than its U.S. counterpart made by Smith & Wesson”, Kikong said.

Thanks to Clinton’s anti-crime bill that bans the sale of U.S. made guns to civilians, the hunble paltik of Danao has wiggled its way into the lucrative underground American market.  MM


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